“I thought she loved me.” Over the past 14 years, I’ve heard those five words from more men than I can count. They never say them at the beginning of the relationship. They say them when they finally realize they weren’t just losing the relationship. They were losing themselves. Manipulation rarely looks like manipulation. That’s […]
Love or Manipulation? The Difference Could Change Your Life Read More »
There is a particular kind of loneliness that men rarely talk about. During a recent session, a client shared with me that he had stopped initiating altogether. Not because he no longer wanted his wife, but because he could no longer tolerate the rejection. Every attempt at closeness ended with another excuse, another argument, or
Selfishly Celibate: When Sex Becomes a Weapon in Marriage Read More »
Co-parenting does not fail simply because two people are divorced. It fails when one parent decides that punishment matters more than the child. Divorce ends the marriage, but it does not end the responsibility two parents share. That responsibility remains even when there is anger, resentment, disappointment, or betrayal. But in high-conflict divorce, that responsibility
When Revenge Comes First, Co-Parenting Fails Read More »
One of the most confusing experiences for a man in a toxic relationship is this: he can see clearly that the relationship is hurting him and still feel drawn back to it. That contradiction is not weakness. It is not ignorance. And it is not because some part of him wants the chaos. It happens
Trauma Bonds: Why Leaving an Unhealthy Relationship Is Harder Thank You Think Read More »
A divorce is likely to amplify some of your spouse’s narcissistic tendencies. The only thing more challenging than a divorce from a narcissistic spouse is helping your children through having a narcissistic parent. Since narcissism can present itself in varied ways, managing co-parenting and navigating your children through the difficult territory, is a complicated and
Helping your child cope with a narcissistic parent! Read More »
Recently, my client “Paul” had described how his soon-to-be ex-wife continues to violate his private space. The couple has been separated for nearly 5 months; Paul had moved into their second home a few blocks down the street from the marital home. With their shared parenting plan in the process for their young son, the
HOW TO SET BOUNDARIES DURING A DIVORCE! Read More »
Oftentimes, a client will describe the behavior of their soon-to-be ex-spouse, which is manipulation 101. As I listen and take notes, I will circle back and discuss each behavior/tactic in detail with them. Then I will go on to inform them of the details of what exactly is considered manipulative behavior and ask them if
HOW TO SPOT A MANIPULATOR! Read More »
Men often describe in detail their marriage and what led to its demise during their consultations. I’m often surprised by how long they have dealt with a spouse who emotionally abused them for long periods. Sadly, they will turn to me and ask if what they are describing is considered abuse since they’ve been convinced
HOW TO SPOT EMOTIONAL ABUSE Read More »
Have you ever played the victim? If so, do you remember the emotional need you were trying to fulfill or express while doing so? It’s the same for someone with a narcissistic personality, but they may feel it more often. If the love bombing and fake apologies didn’t work on you, it’s time for them
WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU IGNORE A NARCISSIST: PART TWO Read More »
What happens when you ignore a narcissist? Dealing with a narcissistic personality disorder isn’t easy. Their reaction to being ignored tends to be dramatic, exaggerated, and chaotic. As you know, they want to make a scene. They want to trigger you to feel ashamed, guilty, or confused about your choices. The goal here is simple: they need to feel
What To Expect When You Ignore A Narcissist! Part One Read More »