Most parents do not approach divorce believing it will benefit their children. In fact, many fear the opposite. For many fathers, concern about the children is one of the strongest reasons they remain in a marriage long after the relationship has become deeply unhappy, hostile, or emotionally unhealthy. They worry that divorce will destabilize their
5 Reasons Why Children May Benefit From Divorce Read More »
Verbal abuse does not always sound like screaming. Sometimes it sounds like sarcasm. A cutting remark delivered with a smile. A private criticism repeated in front of other people. A dismissive laugh when you try to explain that something hurt you. Then, when you react, you are told you are too sensitive. Many men do
When Contempt Replaces Love: The Verbal Abuse Men Are Taught to Ignore Read More »
“I thought she loved me.” Over the past 14 years, I’ve heard those five words from more men than I can count. They never say them at the beginning of the relationship. They say them when they finally realize they weren’t just losing the relationship. They were losing themselves. Manipulation rarely looks like manipulation. That’s
Love or Manipulation? The Difference Could Change Your Life Read More »
There is a particular kind of loneliness that men rarely talk about. During a recent session, a client shared with me that he had stopped initiating altogether. Not because he no longer wanted his wife, but because he could no longer tolerate the rejection. Every attempt at closeness ended with another excuse, another argument, or
Selfishly Celibate: When Sex Becomes a Weapon in Marriage Read More »
Co-parenting does not fail simply because two people are divorced. It fails when one parent decides that punishment matters more than the child. Divorce ends the marriage, but it does not end the responsibility two parents share. That responsibility remains even when there is anger, resentment, disappointment, or betrayal. But in high-conflict divorce, that responsibility
When Revenge Comes First, Co-Parenting Fails Read More »
One of the most confusing experiences for a man in a toxic relationship is this: he can see clearly that the relationship is hurting him and still feel drawn back to it. That contradiction is not weakness. It is not ignorance. And it is not because some part of him wants the chaos. It happens
Trauma Bonds: Why Leaving an Unhealthy Relationship Is Harder Thank You Think Read More »
A divorce is likely to amplify some of your spouse’s narcissistic tendencies. The only thing more challenging than a divorce from a narcissistic spouse is helping your children through having a narcissistic parent. Since narcissism can present itself in varied ways, managing co-parenting and navigating your children through the difficult territory, is a complicated and
Helping your child cope with a narcissistic parent! Read More »
Recently, my client “Paul” had described how his soon-to-be ex-wife continues to violate his private space. The couple has been separated for nearly 5 months; Paul had moved into their second home a few blocks down the street from the marital home. With their shared parenting plan in the process for their young son, the
HOW TO SET BOUNDARIES DURING A DIVORCE! Read More »
Oftentimes, a client will describe the behavior of their soon-to-be ex-spouse, which is manipulation 101. As I listen and take notes, I will circle back and discuss each behavior/tactic in detail with them. Then I will go on to inform them of the details of what exactly is considered manipulative behavior and ask them if
HOW TO SPOT A MANIPULATOR! Read More »
Men often describe in detail their marriage and what led to its demise during their consultations. I’m often surprised by how long they have dealt with a spouse who emotionally abused them for long periods. Sadly, they will turn to me and ask if what they are describing is considered abuse since they’ve been convinced
HOW TO SPOT EMOTIONAL ABUSE Read More »